The Sonic '06 parody!
by GamerGirl54321
Summary: A parody of Sonic Next Gen. Rated T for TERIOS!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N Hello, all, and welcome to my wonderful mockery of Sonic '06! It goes by many names, Sonic '06, Sonic Next Gen, SONIC THE HEDGEHOG, the worst Sonic game ever to be created... By the way, I personally, loved this game, but I also love poking fun at games and criticizing them to death, so here we are! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Sonic Underground and their music, any of these characters, Soleanna, the game plot, etc.**

* * *

_Chapter 1_

It was Soleanna's greatest (and only) celebration. All the townspeople were crowded along the sides of the river. There was a boat floating along, it had a teenage girl on it waving like the diva she was. She had gotten a haircut that she had gotten from a butcher store, and some of the feathers got stuck in her red hair. To make it seem more natural, she had put other various decorations in it. Although this made her seem like a strange Christmas ornament, no one commented. She was wearing a white dress that barely covered her. She had on high heels.

The boat slowed to a stop as it reached the altar. It was large, and had an engraving of an eagle on it. No one knew what this eagle was for. The girl stepped off the boat, went up the stairs, and was handed a torch. This torch had magical properties that made people hallucinate, so the moment that the teen looked into it, she saw the city being consumed by a fire produced by a comically large beast. She began floating up somehow until she was at eye level with this demon, and it looked at her, and roared at her in the face, its fiery spit about to reach her-

"Miss Elise?" one of the concerned priestesses asked, for Elise had been zoning out for over ten minutes.

"It...it's all right," Elise reassured even though she felt nauseated. "We give thanks to the blessed flames. May we always continue to have peace. Sun of Soleanna, guide and watch over us with your eternal light." And she brought the torch to the altar, setting the display on fire. _That was pointless, why do we do that every year?_ the princess wondered as fireworks exploded in the sky, lighting up the night with their majestic glow-

And then everything went to hell.

Bombs that came from the sky suddenly exploded, knocking Elise and everyone else on the platform over. A large man with a bald head, red coat, tight, shiny black pants, and large mustache flew down in a hovercraft.

"Greetings, princess of Soleanna," he greeted while arbitrary menacing music played in the background. "I am Doctor Eggman, as you should know, since I blew up half of the moon with a cannon. Seriously, don't you know me? Anyway, I have come here to kidnap you for my diabolical plan that will most likely fail! Haha!" He took a step forward and pointed at Elise. "However, for my plan to go wrong, I will need the Gems of Eternity-er, the Chaos Emeralds! Now, princess..." He gestured behind him. "This way, please."

Elise slowly shook her head and stepped back as any clichéd damsel in distress would. Suddenly, a green wind swirled up all around, circling the altar. It came to a stop at a ledge, and Elise was surprised, to say the least. A green hedgehog with hair that looked like bats riding a hoverboard! What was this?! Then, a pink blur did the same, stopping next to the green one. A pink hedgehog on a motorbike? Finally, a blue blur - a blue wind, really - circled around, and stopped in front of the other two. This one was (surprise, surprise) a blue hedgehog. They then pulled out musical instruments, introduced themselves as the "Sonic Underground", started playing a bad song apparently called "Society Girl", and-

And then Elise snapped back to reality. There was only a blue one, and she felt Déjà vu. Was that...?

It destroyed all the robots, ran up to Elise, and said, "I'm Sonic! Sonic the Hedgehog!" in a rather nasal voice, then picked up the princess bridal style and ran off.

"Waaaaaaah! I'm being kidnapped by a blue porcupine thingy!" Elise yelled as Sonic dodged missiles. "Heeeeelp!"

"Shut up! I'm trying to help you!" Sonic yelled over the wind somehow (Shouldn't traveling at the speed of sound stop sound? Meh), narrowly missing another projectile.

"Unhand me, felon!" Elise cried dramatically. She then pulled a purse out of nowhere and started whacking him with it.

"Gyah! Stop! Do you want to DIE?!" Sonic asked, still running.

Overlooking this scene, a silver hedgehog whos hair looked like a four-leaf clover clenched his fist. "I've finally found him. The Iblis Trigger. Wait, why did I say that?"

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** A/N So that's the first chapter! Hope you enjoyed! Review? This is my first fanfiction that I've uploaded, so some feedback would be nice. See y'all next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Review replies:**

**Lost and Forgotten Memories: Thanks! And I actually watched the cutscene this time rather than going from memory alone, so it'll hopefully be better than the last :)**

**shade25: I JUST DID :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own the characters, setting, plot, etc. blah blah blah stuff**

**So anyway, here's chapter twooooooooo!**

* * *

_Chapter 2_

**Meanwhile, in a remote snowy forest somewhere...**

Rock music and alarms blared as jet shoes blazed, melting the snow as they cut through. Shadow the Hedgehog, ultimate life form and overall badass was trying to get into Eggman's base in a remote place. Hey, that rhymes! ...Ahem, anyway...

Many robots, who were for some reason standing in a perfect rectangle, shot at the hedgehog. The bullets deflected off his fur (god, it felt weird writing that) and he blasted through them, jumped on one's head, and used it as a launching pad, using his momentum to jump over the wall surrounding the base. He landed in the most badass way possible - hitting the ground in a crouch just as the robot he had stepped on exploded. He turned, hid behind some containers. He made sure that the spotlight was away from him (he didn't need all those fangirls catching him, after all), then looked at the ring on his wrist.

The radio transceiver turned on. "Transmission from HQ. There's an SOS coming from Dr. Eggman's base. Our last communication with our agent was 26 hours ago, so get your lazy ass over there before I fire you!"

"Why the hell did you tell me that? Why else would I be here?" the hedgehog asked in his badass voice.

"Shut up and rescue her! Shadow the Hedgehog."

"Did I _really_ need to be reminded of my own damn _name_?" Shadow growled.

"Yes! Shut up and do the mission!"

"Then will you finally give me that DAMN fourth Chaos Emerald?"

"Yeah, yeah." The radio turned off

"Damn, that was pointless... Anyway..." And he used his badass powers to teleport away. Why he didn't do that from the start is something we may never understand.

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**A/N As you can see, I'm one of those fangirls who wants to find Shadow XD. Review?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Review replies!**

**Aurawarior13: I...The bullets, they deflected-HOW IS THAT ****NOT ****WEIRD?!**

**Lost and Forgotten Memories: Yeah, the GUN soldiers always seemed a bit touchy to me :)**

**ProwerPower85: I can just imagine your teacher's face if you did XD I almost did that once, it was scary.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Silver, Blaze, blah blah blah we've been through this already**

**So here's chapter threeeeeee!**

* * *

_Chapter 3_

As sad, eerie music played in the background, a white hedgehog floated along above the lava, surveying the city. Yes, you heard me right. FLOATED. What is this world turning into?

Anyway, he was floating along, emitting a strange blue light-YES, that IS a thing! Stop interrupting me!

"This world was devastated before I was born," he began. "A harsh, bleak place where we live in eternal darkness. Life is a struggle, and people live without hope. How did this happen? No one will answer me directly, because they think I'm too gay to know. But I'm not gay! That's not why my voice is weird!

"But they always point *pause for suspense* to the flames. As if that'll tell me anything. I mean, that's why I ask in the first-"

Suddenly, a spire of fire - hey, that rhymes too! - swirled up. The hedgehog used his power to force it down. What? No, he wasn't going to puke. Why did you say that?

"These flames," he continued. "They burn away at my world, destroying everything in their path. They come from an eternal life form that we can not truly defeat. The ultimate life form known as Shadow the Hedge-oh wait, that's my dad. I mean, the Flames of Disaster, known as Iblis... Wait, who am I talking to?"

"Silver!" a feminine voice called out.

"Blaze! What's wrong?" he asked, turning around to look at the purple feline.

"He's appeared again!" she replied, pointing somewhere.

Silver then completely disregarded Blaze and used his power to slingshot himself to where Blaze had directed him.

"H-hey WAIT! I POINTED IN THE WRONG DIRECTION!" Blaze yelled. But it was too late; Silver was too far to hear her.

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**A/N Disregarding Blaze, Silver? Nice going... :P Review?**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N So, uh... I, er, forgot to update this... PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!**

**Review replies:**

**Lost and Forgotten Memories: Yeah, well, in my defense, I... Uh... Actually, you're right... And with Silver, I don't have anything against gay people (I support all that) but yeah.**

**ProwerPower85: HE IS NOT A POTHEAD OR A PORCUPINE!**

**AgentDolly: That's what I think too, but Silver isn't my favorite character, sorry.**

**knic99: Yeah, random purses are always fun :P**

**Zeru-Chan: SatBK reference, we never did find out who his mom is. But since that game took place in a book (I think...), I guess it doesn't count :P**

**So, on with the show!**

* * *

_Chapter 4_

Elise had stopped trying with the purse, and was now focusing on not falling out of Sonic's arms. _Once you get past the whole "I'm a random kidnapper porcupine" thing, he's kinda cute, _thought Elise.

"So, uh... Why are you kidnapping me?" Elise asked, trying to sound nonchalant.

"I'm not kidnapping you! I'm helping you!" Sonic said indignantly. "And, well... No special reason." He took a scarily long jump across a river - a _river_, goddamn it - and landed perfectly. Somehow.

"Hey, what happened to you? You look like _plastic_ now," said Elise.

"Huh? Oh, uh... That seems to happen after the introductions. By the way, your necklace looks like you glued it to your skin. Your name?"

"Elise the living Plot Device, but most people just call me Princess Carrot Legs," Elise replied.

"Oh. Well, little secret... I'm not actually Sonic. See my eyes, how they're green? You see, my name is actually Roger-"

"Sonic!" Elise cried out, pointing ahead of them. Four generic black-and-silver robots were ahead of them.

Sonic set Elise down and homing-attacked them, breaking all known rules of physics, gravity, and the world. This wouldn't be the last time, however.

Elise suddenly cried out, and Sonic (or Roger, whatever) whirled around. Eggman's weird robot thing with hands had Elise in its grip. How it managed to follow them unnoticed is a mystery we may never solve.

"I'm afraid our little game ends now," said Doctor Eggman with a smug look on his face. Oh, Eggman. If only you knew.

Struggling to get her hands free, Elise pulled out a blue Chaos Emerald - and trust me, you don't want to know where she was keeping it. "Sonic! Take this!" she yelled, throwing it. However, she missed, and it hit Sonic on the head, knocking him out.

Eggman retained his relaxed look, and he put his hand out. "Hm. It's only a matter of time before it's mine. Until then, you can hold onto it for me." The same menacing music from before started playing again as Eggman's machine flew up into his aircraft. It then concluded, leaving the reader to wonder where exactly the music was coming from.

* * *

A few hours passed, and Sonic woke up, somehow standing at the foot of a bell tower with a small pool around it. He looked around in confusion, then said something that made no sense:

"Collect information about Doctor Eggman!

"Huh, that was weird. I wonder why I said-

"What's Eggman up to...? I need to gather some information!"

An awkward moment followed as a little boy and his mother waked by.

"Mommy! Mommy! That porcupine is talking to himself!"

The woman looked over and nervously guided her child away from Sonic.

Sonic scratched his head, confused. "What was that? ...Whatever, I should probably listen to me..." He started down the path. A random dog barked at him, which he ignored. He eventually found a two-tailed yellow fox standing there, looking around.

* * *

"Sonic!" the fox yelled, jumping in the air with his arms outstretched for no apparent reason.

"Tails! Long time no see!" Sonic replied with a salute.

"I'm glad you're here. I heard that you tried to save their princess from Doctor Eggman!"

"Yeah, she was a female dog," Sonic muttered, turning away and crossing his arms.

"You're going to rescue her, aren't you?" Tails asked. "Let me help! I may not know what Eggman's up to, but it can't be a good thing!"

"Thanks, Captain Obvious! We really needed that!"

"What was that?"

"Err, okay! With your help, this should be a piece of cake!" Sonic said nervously with a thumbs-up. He then slapped Tails on the arm and ran away.

"Hmm, I wonder why his voice wasn't in time with his mouth movements?" Tails wondered, taking off after Sonic.

* * *

A random floating question mark next to an _incredibly_ large silver coin thing were positioned behind a barrel. Sonic took the coin and poked the question mark.

"This is a silver medal!" the magic punctuation started.

"Waaugh!" Sonic yelled, jumping back (which got him even more weird looks).

"They are scattered all over Soleanna. It may be hard to collect them all!" the mark said.

After making sure that it was done talking, Sonic wiped his hand across his forehead. "Phew. I guess that these things are the Omochao of this place...at least that stupid robot isn't here."

He then turned around and went to the shop. "Hello? I'd like to buy the light dash, because mine is broken," he said.

"I'm sorry, but your account is empty." replied the person at the counter.

"What?! That's impossible! I didn't even give you my credit card yet!"

"Sorry, sir," the worker replied, the turned around, pretending to organize some boxes. In actuality, he was making sure that the rings he had stolen from Sonic were niiiiiiiiice and hidden.

"Grr... Stupid humans... I spend too much time around Shadow, don't I..." Sonic thought aloud.

An old man suddenly waved them over. "I'll give you 100 rings if you test out my shoes," he offered.

"YOUR shoes? I'm sorry, sir, but they probably won't fit me," he answered, looking down at their feet.

"No, not the ones I'm wearing! I made some other shoes!"

"Oh, fine. What could possible go wrong?"

* * *

Sonic looked around. He had been next to the shop just a moment ago... What had happened? He was right back where he started! _These people must have magical powers_, he thought.

"Put on the shoes, and go through the rings!" the old man said.

* * *

"Go through all the rings in time!" Sonic suddenly blurted out, then clapped his hands over his mouth. _Why do I keep saying things? I need to see a doctor..._

He looked down, as his sneaker felt untied, but then jumped back. "_Why _am I wearing ballet shoes?" he wondered aloud. Indeed, he now sported a pair of pink slippers, complete with white socks.

He turned his head up. Red rings faced him. _Well, I guess I'd better listen to myself again..._, he thought.

* * *

"Amazing! The shoes are a success! The fastest runner in the world, with the best shoes inthe world! I'm so happy! Keep them!" the old man ranted.

"Yeah, uh, how do you get them off?" Sonic asked, desperate to take off the slippers.

"You don't!" the old man replied happily, dancing around. Suddenly, he fell on his face in a dead faint.

Later, his gravestone would read, "R.I.P. Alberto Jogger He made shoes till the end".

Sonic facepalmed. The shoes were a size too small, and his feet already hurt. This was going to be a long journey...

* * *

After purchasing the Light Dash skill from the shop, Sonic went over to a trail of rings over the ocean and perched on the ledge. He gulped. Water was not his strong suit, unlike the real Sonic...

"Well? Go!" Tails said impatiently, then pushed him off.

"Waaaugh!" Sonic yelled, floundering, but rather than falling, he floated across the water. Landing safely, he looked around in wonder. Tails flew after him.

"Well, here goes," Sonic said, then jumped into the mirror. The mirror didn't work, however, and he hit his head again, fainting once more.

* * *

Sonic woke up hanging from a ledge somehow and looked around, realizing where he was as he saw the water. This was going to be a long day...

* * *

**A/N Review?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Review Replies:**

**ParadoxalMindElla1: Thanks!**

**SYLVEONLORDKYUREMEPIC: Really? What are the first and second? I WANNA READ THEM :O And you actually FAINTED? Damn. Sorry for getting you in trouble.**

**shade25: I dunno, just thought it would be funny.**

**knic99: I will. *attempts to retain poker face, miserably fails***

****Disclaimer: I believe we've been through this already****

**So on to the next chapter!**

* * *

_Chapter 5_

**Wave Ocean**

Sonic stared at the loop ahead of him, unsure what to do. He was somehow standing sideways, and could apparently jump from that position without falling.

Suddenly, he said "I've got to hurry and save Elise!" (against his will, of course, as he had an immense dislike of the teenage princess) and ran forward (also without meaning to).

Sonic cried out "WATER!" in fright, as he couldn't swim like the real Sonic, but soon found that he could ride on the aqua liquid. Coming up to a bit of land, he gratefully ran up it, only to be catapulted up.

"WAAAAAAUGH!" he yelled, landing with his abnormally large head stuck in the sand. He feebly attempted to get out, but failed. He was soon fired out of the sand by a robot. He homing attacked it and its two counterparts (after all, they're too generic to get a REAL action scene) and jogged towards the next loop. A dash pad was positioned at the loop's base, and Sonic was, once more, flung forward to another stretch of somehow-not-letting-him-fall water. He went to the second loop in it, as the first was to close to reach comfortably, but because of the lack of a dash pad, he stopped when he was completely upside down.

Looking around confused, Sonic turned his head up and saw the water he had been gliding on just moments earlier. Suddenly feeling rather nauseated, he jumped to get down, momentarily forgetting his fear of H2O. When that (somehow) didn't work, Sonic concluded that Soleanna was filled with dark magic and sorcerers, and that they wouldn't let him leave until he rescued their princess.

Taking a deep breath, Sonic assessed the situation quietly. He then came up with a plan to get away.

"HEY! TAILS! GET YOUR *** OVER HERE!" he yelled.

Suddenly, a wild TORNADO appeared! TORNADO used MEGAPHONE! MEGAPHONE told FAKESONIC to run forward!

After heeding the Pokémon's advice, Sonic succeeded in getting down. He rode the water the rest of the way to the beach.

Using the dash pad available, he took hold of an iron rod and swung, jumping off as soon as he got the correct angle. Not that that made sense since his eyes shouldn't have been able to tell, but hey, physics don't matter here, right?

Landing on a grassy area, he quickly defeated the robot waiting for him with a homing attack and ran to the checkpoint.

Sonic homing attacked to a spring and wall-jumped a few times, landing on a grinding rail. The rail sent him to a spring, which in turn bounced him to another hill. After getting past it and passing through the checkpoint, Sonic was thrown into the I-don't-agree-with-you-physics-so-you-can-go-to-hell water and skimmed to a small bridge.

Using a spring to jump to the next part of the well-worn bridge (lord knows why it was there in the first place), Sonic ran as fast as he could as he sensed a presence underneath him. Soon enough, an orca straight out of SA1 came out of the water, destroying part of the bridge, and began to chase Sonic down the bridge. Sonic made it through, but after reaching the end of the bridge, yelled "Jump!" (thanks, Captain Obvious) and jumped (oh, how surprising) until the only thing left to jump to...was the orca's fin.

"Tails! Go ahead and find the gate switch so he doesn't get out!" Sonic yelled to Tails, who was conveniently waiting on an island near the now-destroyed bridge.

"Okay, Sonic! I'll be right back!" Tails answered, then took off, island hopping until he reached another bridge. yeah, smart thinking, Tails! Because Sonic _clearly_ didn't just get KIDNAPPED BY AN KILLER WHALE ON A BRIDGE JUST LIKE THIS ONE!

But because Tails couldn't break the fourth wall, he just flew over the bridge because I have author powers and don't want Tails die and be horribly mutilated. Hey, I'm not THAT sadistic. Landing on the island, he wasted no time in throwing his fake rings at the robots there, thus destroying them (WTF). He then hovered up to a platform, destroyed the robots there, and repeated the process for the next, higher platform. Touching the switch that he hoped would close the gate, he squeezed his eyes shut, knowing he couldn't bear it if it didn't work.

"Thank you, Tails! You saved me!" Sonic voice rang out clear to the ears of the young fox, and he cheered.

Sonic, meanwhile, jumped over the gate anyway. Why he needed Tails to close the gate is a mystery even he can't solve. (In fact, the Chaotix tried, to no avail.)

* * *

"Darn! We're not gonna make it! Let's speed up!" Sonic yelled (without meaning to). He then took off. It wasn't at the speed of sound, but it sure was fast.

He went between pillars, using dash pads, but eventually hit his arm on a rock. He then promptly began to break dance. "Wha- WHY AM I BREAK DANCING?!" Sonic yelled, but dismissed it as the dark magic of Soleanna's doing.

After reaching a bridge, Sonic used a spring to jump to a lighthouse nearby, then wall-jumped twice, his feet somehow hovering above the walls rather than staying on them. He landed on a bridge and continued running. Reaching a beach, he jumped over the robots there as he was going to fast to safely destroy them (OXYMORONS FTW), went up another bridge, ran on the dash pad there, and went to a larger loop. he went around it, and he was almost there...!

But then the missed the dash pad by 0.0000000000000000000001 millimeters and fell into the ocean.

After repeating the whole section (corny dialogue included), he reached this point again, and tried once more. After failing a second time, he repeated this until he was on his last life, life 0 (don't question the logic) and somehow succeeded. A couple of large, conveniently placed buldings later, and Sonic had reached the goal ring.

One result screen later, and he let go of the awkward "backward thumbs-up) posture, panting heavily.

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**A/N Criticism, anyone? I'm doing this for fun, but also to get better as a writer, and I'd like to know my weak points so I can improve them. That said, all flamers welcome :P See y'all real soon!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N What's this? A new chapter? What is this madness?**

**Review replies:**

**Lydia the tygeropean: Tank chu! :3**

**Lost and forgotten memories: Well, I meant "aqua" as in "blue". I don't know Spanish XD And I will try not to rush anything again! (Of course, this will probably happen no matter what I do... :P)**

**SYLVEONLORDKYUREMEPIC: Yeah, uh... Sorry...**

**ProwerPower85: Yes, it's the only logical explanation for everything :P**

**Squidkid11: Well, that's because "Sonic" isn't actually Sonic, he's-**

**Sonic/Roger - SHUT UP!**

**Me - U-um, whatever you say, sir. But thanks for the criticism!**

**Nabnab450: Why, thank you!**

**digitalpcock: I'm gonna take that as a compliment :D**

**Disclaimer: Hey, hey, guys! While I was gone, I managed to actually buy Sonic! Isn't that wonderf-! *gun cocks behind my head***

**Me: Eep... *turns around slowly, to see... Shadow the lawyer?***

**Shadow: Step away from the damn copyrights!**

**Me: O-okay... I don't... Eep... Own anything...**

**So ON WITH CHAPTER SIIIIIIIIIIIX**

* * *

_Chapter 6_

The first thing that occurred to Shadow was that this was _not _where he wanted to go. He had been trying to get directly into the Doctor's base...

"Damn it!" he yelled. "It never works anymore! Damn you, Black Doom! And what kind of a name _is_ that, anyway?!"

It then became apparent to him that Black Doom must have been a sorcerer of dark magic, hence the cheesy, video-game-villain name. But he couldn't have been living in a video game. ...Right?

Then Shadow got catapulted off of a dash pad.

"DAMN IT...!" Shadow yelled. Then, just for teh lulz, he said to no one, "Doctor Eggman... What is he up to this time? It must be something dastardly and stereotypical as hell!"

He ran into some rings and...passed through them...okay then...and leaped off of a mini cliff onto a red rail, grinding on it for about two seconds before ramming into a generic shooter robot.

The rings he had collected came...out of him...? "Damn it!" he yelled. "If only I had a damn gun, then this would be so much damn easier!" But since his game had ended last year and he had had his guns confiscated, he could do nothing about the matter. Growling, he homing attacked the robot and the other robots beside it. He skated forward to a red laser barrier.

"When it's lost both arms, that's my chance. It'll be off balance, so I can knock it down- ...Why am I talking to myself?" Shadow wondered, homing attacking this one as well and pulling off a completely badass Chaos Attack which completely pwned the robot to its explosive demise and I'm totally not fangirling Shadow in any way whatsoever...

As the laser barrier disappeared (why was it connected to the robot in the first place?), Shadow ran over a dash pad and was catapulted forward, flying over the multiple ledges and random arbitrary laser, completely ignoring the green robot things as he sprinted to the next dash pad, took the higher one, and yelled "Hah!" to no one in particular. He flew through a rainbow hoop of magicalness to another dash pad, which in turn shot him to ANOTHER rainbow hoop of magicalness, which took him to another pack of robots. Professor Pickle's assistant, meanwhile, was singing the "Whole Pack of Robots" song...thing.

Shadow made quick work of the red robot, which caused a chain reaction that blew up the other robots, which in turn made Chris Thorndyke explode. Because Chris Thorndyke was clearly a robot in disguise. Don't question my logic.

"It looks like the door up ahead leads into the base," Shadow said, jumping on another grind rail. "There should be a switch somewhere," he mumbled, running around the metal building to see a hoop, and even though he didn't know whether the hoop was safe or not, he still jumped to it and clung onto it with one hand, because Shadow is smart! Like Dora the Explorer! ...Ahem, anyways...

He homing attacked to a switch that was just kind of sitting there on a ledge. "Just as I thought," Shadow said smugly. "I knew that my Pinkie senses were real!" He sneered at a piece of paper he had pulled out of hammerspace. "Take THAT, talking piece of paper! I knew that I wasn't crazy! Now you owe me five bucks!"

"Ugh, fine..." the paper replied, pulling five bucks out of who-knows-where and handing them to him.

He then jumped off and went into the warehouse. He was greeted by a whole pack of robots (Professor P's assistant was having a field day) and made quick work of them with his Chaos Attack. But then a another whole pack of robots appeared! Shadow attacked the leader who was conspicuously red (and Eggman has an I.Q. of 300...?), which opened a portal out of nowhere, which Shadow hopped into, not even considering the possibility of a giant trap of ULTIMATE DOOM on the other side.

* * *

Rouge the Bat jumped out of thin air, muttering, "We got out of the base, but security's really high... Let's see..." Who she was talking to will forever remain a mystery. Either that, or...

...

IT'S A CONSPIRACY, MAN!

Without a thought, Rouge jumped on the wall, which thankfully wasn't slippery... Unless, of course, the conspiracy is real, WHICH IT IS!

She climbed (clumb?) up to the red robot, which was red 'cause Eggman likes red. Destroying it with a Tornado Kick- oh wait, she doesn't have that ability in this game... She, uh, threw heart-shaped bombs at the robot, which somehow didn't damage her.

Then she jumped down into the abyss.

Okay, wait! I know what you're thinking! You think that she's gone nuts, right? ...Right? ...No?

:(

But anyways, she flew to the next platform thing, landed, jumped to the searchlight, and destroyed it with her bombs.

Completely ignoring the ice wall thing that could have very well housed a radio for her to use, she flew to the mountain thingy. Since there were two robots instead of just one, she jumped up, floated there somehow, made a noise that could be interpreted as racist, and threw a lot of bombs onto both of them.

She flew straight through one...two...three...four...five...dammit, when is this gonna end?! Six...seven...eight...nine...ten...eleven... ARGH, I GIVE UP!

Ugh, anyways, after a lot of search area places, she FINALLY hit a switch hidden in some trees with a "Haha! Doctor Eggman is no match for me." (But if that were the case, how did she get trapped in his base? ...Hey, that rhymes!)

Seeing Shadow there, she got a dreamy look i her eyes and went and glomped him. There, I have appeased the Shadouge fans, now STOP SPAMMING ME!1!one

Then, she regained her composure and asked him, "Shadow, why you?" ...Ungrateful little...

"It's a request from the DAMN president," he answered. ...Yeah, like the president really cares about some bat. We see our lies, Shadow! WE SEE THEM!

He went and destroyed all five searchlights with his badass car, and finished the level with a badass scowl on his face. Don't question the massive timeskip.

**A/N I know, I know, I'm very lazy. Review!**


	7. Chapter 7

**I have no excuse. Also, I kinda realized that this thing with the review replies is stupid, so I'm going to stop that now. And... Dropping levels. I'M SORRY. I just cannot write them decently... So, um, yeah.**

**Review replies:**

**knic99: I know, I'm amazing :P**

**Lost and Forgotten Memories: No, there won't. I don't actually ship it, just threw that in there :P**

**Thisisafanfiction: We should form an organization, a resistance: something to KILL Chris Thorndyke once and for all! Or something.**

**ParadoxalMindElla: ...Uhm...**

**Jackym333: If your ass fell off, you might want to see a doctor :P**

**digitalpock: Yay!**

**PeterSwarker96: I'm glad that you like it!**

**RaikouLuvr65: Thanks!**

**BlackLouie: WHEEEEEEEEE**

**IrisatinetheVain: *cough cough***

**Inkwell: Wish granted.**

**twisted wishes: Thanks!**

* * *

_Chapter 7 or something_

Silver and Blaze ran to the edge of a building with their angry faces on as a giant fire demon thing rose out of the flames. It roared at them. The two staggered backwards, and Silver let out a small, girlish scream before composing himself. "Come on, you monster! Heathen! Thing of flames!"

Blaze's ears perked up, and she looked at Silver, offended. "Um, ex-CUSE me? So fire is bad now, huh? Well, psychokinesis isn't exactly GREAT either, SILVER!"

Silver paled... Which looked really weird, considering that his fur is white anyway. "U-uh, I didn't mean it like-"

"No!" She turned around and started walking away using her GURL POWAH.

"Huh? W-wait! BLAZE! I NEED YOU!" Silver burst into extremely girlish tears and fell to the ground. "Blaaaaze...!"

Iblis, meanwhile, was desperately trying to hold back a laugh, but failed with a snort. Both Silver and Blaze started, thinking that it was a roar. Blaze groaned. "_Fine_. Just stop crying and let's stop Iblis.

* * *

Silver panted and Blaze rolled her eyes. "Looks like we stopped it for now. That wasn't too hard, was it?"

Silver glared at her. "Yeah, well-" He coughed. "You were just... Standing there... The whole time..."

"Besides the point."

He shook his head and stood up, leaning on the wall for support. "It'll just rise up from its ashes again..." He felt something boiling inside of him and slammed his fist into the wall. "What's the point of all this?! It'll never end!"

Blaze tilted her head to the side. "You've been eating Mexican food again, haven't you?"

"So?!"

"You know that it makes you moody."

"So?!"

"Never mind."

He sighed in a frustrated tone. "Then tell me what we should do. How can we completely destroy Shadow the- er, Iblis?"

Blaze turned away, closing her eyes.

A deep voice suddenly said, "By knowing the truth, of course."

They both looked up at the source behind them, startled. They saw a hedgehog perched upon a pillar that looked like Shadow but with pale blue streaks, acid green eyes, and rusted rings- Hey, that sounds like Generic the Hedgehog from that other fanfic! Er, anyways...

He held his hands up dramatically. "Just as a flower comes from a-"

"Dad?!" said Silver. "I thought you were dead"

He looked down at Silver. "What?"

"Dad, I thought I'd never see you again! There were so many things I wanted to-"

"I'm not your father!"

"Suuuure you aren't. Your amnesia came back again, didn't it? No matter, for I, Silver the Hedgehog, am here to help!" He floated upwards and took the hedgehog's hand. "Dad, it's going to be oka- What happened to your mouth?

Blaze facepalmed. "That's not your dad, Silver."

The mystery hedgehog gestured to Blaze with his free hand. "That's what she said."

Silver snickered. "Please, dad. That terminology isn't as innocent as it was back when you were created. You're the only one here who wouldn't know what that means."

"I- Argh, never mind! I'm Mephiles, Mephiles the Dark, and you are getting on my nerves!"

"Dad, please-"

"I can fix this world for you!"

Silver's head snapped back towards Mephiles. "What?"

"Yeah! But I'll only do it if you believe that I'm not your father."

And in an epic twist of events, the villain was NOT the hero's father. Go figure, right?

Silver's shoulders slumped down, and he floated back down next to Blaze. "And here I thought... Fine. You're not Dad. How do we fix this?"

Mephiles started gesturing to the sky again. "You need to find the being originally responsible for this catastrophe."

Silver was skeptical. "Is that really the answer to our problem?"

Mephiles was silent.

Silver took the bait. "Tell me, do you know who it is?"

Creepy piano music started playing in the background as Mephiles slowly turned his head back down to Silver and Blaze and stared at them.

Silver shuddered. "Blaze, he's scaring me."

* * *

**Criticism appreciated.**


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